The Fortune Cookie Brief

The most common irony you’ll find in our game is the line in creative briefs that highlights “The single most important thing we need to say.” Because in that little section you will likely find – not a single thing at all – but two or three, or as you’ll soon see - 26 things. Creative briefs are rarely either.
Usually they’re a litany of messages that the client wishes they could see in their commercial. They somehow believe you can pitch as much in a 30-second commercial as you can in the 30-minute TV show it’s sponsoring.
I once had a client who absolutely insisted that we pack 26 different messages inside her 30-second commercial because all 26 messages were somewhere on the brief. I kid you not. And she counted them.
My partner and I were the third team subjected to this. After four months, we had done it. All 26 messages in a 30-second script. Word spread through the agency. People stopped by to see our script like they were visiting the wolf boy in a carnival.
But when the client saw the script, she still wasn’t satisfied. “I don’t think you people get it. What am I supposed to do with this mess?”
“One thing,” I said. “Get yourself a new boy.” And I walked out.
Fortunately, my boss had seen what we were dealing with and didn’t fire me, but I learned my lesson.
One brief. One ball.
In different forms, all briefs try to answer questions like, What’s our business situation? Why are we advertising? Who are we speaking to? What should we say? When is it needed? How much money do we have? What are the executional mandatories that we hope the creative team doesn’t forget?
Then there’s my favorite section - What are all those things that the client insisted that we include in the brief - that we argued against - but ultimately we always put our tail between our legs when the client frowns - so it’s still there - which means when the ad is done they can still take the brief and yell at us and say, “I don’t think you people get it. What am I supposed to do with this mess?”
The actual name of that last section is cruelly titled “Support Points.”
Let’s pause here a moment.
Good creative teams want to know as much about the product and customer as they can. They want to hear the support points. They want as much information as they can get. Sure it’s nice to have it analyzed, distilled, and organized. But there is nothing that will unearth a great idea like doing the digging yourself. Instead of giving a creative team a two page brief, give them stacks of information and factory tours and time with real customers.
Somewhere you will find the golden nugget of truth.
And with it, let me propose a new creative briefing format that will get you to brevity and greatness.
It’s a fortune cookie.
You will never find a better creative brief than a fortune cookie. It is the harmonic embodiment of form and function. Interactive. Edible. And, they magically dispense your future on a tiny slip of paper.
Here’s all you do. Buy a box of fortune-less cookies.
On the slip of paper that goes inside, very carefully write your brief in one word. One.
On the other side of the piece of paper, describe the psychology of the target - briefly. Now insert the fortune into the cookie. Hand it to your creative team, and slowly walk away.
It’s not easy. But it works. Focus, and fortune awaits.
No matter how much clients say in their commercials, it always gets boiled down to one thing.
That’s all you get in this game.
One thing. Make it count.

The best work of my career

And that's the rest of the story.

Growing up in Mississippi in the 1970's and 80's, a few voices echoed week-in and week-out. There was the church minister whose words were lofty but always followed the same sales pitch intonations and Glen Garry Glen Ross patterned close. Then there was the baseball coach whose words were belted out back back back well over the left field fence of imagination. Of course, you also had the stable of school teachers – the precise words of the Algebra teacher, the misplaced storytelling of the History buff, the quiet whispers of the Architectural Engineer, the sing-song phrasing of the British-expat English expositor, and for me – the devastatingly cute Art bohemian who frankly, well –– I don't remember any of her words per se – but rather it was her texture and raspy quality that perfectly matched her unkempt curls. 

Then, there was a voice that eclipsed them all.

Paul Harvey died this week. 

He gave us a sound quality far more distinct than his two first names. He gave us content, wrapped in impeccable storytelling. He gave us the unexpected twisting rest, of the story – a promise we knew would be fulfilled – but wait friends, only after we listened to his own personal brand endorsement. Paul gave us the unspoken social commentary. Certainly if the silent majority had a voice, it was Paul's. And Paul Harvey gave us at least one other thing.  He gave us the timing and patterns and list upon list of items that would all make sense if we'd just hang in there just a few seconds more. There would be more still, and it would all come together if, and only if, we'd lean just a little closer to the radio. Because if we would all hold our collective breath he would reveal his secret. It would be something he was going to share only with you. It would be your personal secret from Paul's mouth to your precisely tuned ears.

And at the perfect moment, finally, he would wet your ear with the revelation.

So simple.

The twisted path made straight. All the knots now neatly tied into a perfect quilt of braided leather.

So clear that all was needed was to let it sit there and be quiet and enjoy the moment.

Paul Harvey was the master of the pregnant pause. 

This week Paul Harvey died. And there is no rest, of the story. He leaves us all wishing he'd break the silence just one more time. 

Goodbye Paul Harvey. We'll miss you.

The Idea

This morning a talented writer presented a lovely, pure idea. Excited by the possibilities I found myself trying to adorn it with an American Indian head dress and war paint. I am a fool, and I rue this day. This classic short film for the Canadian Bessies Award show is my public apology to the writer and my younger self who promised I'd never take pure ideas and turn them into cliches. Be pure little idea. Go and live like no other.

See it now.

The Day After

So we're the experts? I drum the Doritos' crotch shot in my review. I bet my last dollar on it not winning a dime of the USA Today $1 million incentive, and what happens? The two out-of-work guys in Indiana hit the jackpot. They win the USA Today poll.

Well good for them. And here goes. When I have to eat crow, I eat it warm.
But what is the world coming to?

Alright folks, I guess here's the lesson. It seems there's always room for the ultimate pun of physical comedy - the crotch shot. From now on, let's just watch America's Funniest Home Videos pen in hand. We'll emerge back in the office with gold lions and pencils, which we can then sell to Cash4Gold.com, along with Ed McMahon's hip.

All that said, the Pepsi MacGruber spot is still the worst. Blame Arnell.

SUPER AD BOWL 43's TOUCHDOWNS AND FUMBLES

Before my take on Superbowl 43, let me make a prediction for next year's Superbowl 44. It'll be the first complete Superbowl broadcast available in 3D. Because the big winner in tonight's game isn't a single spot. It's 3D technology. Expect to see photos of Superbowl parties with everyone wearing 3D glasses. It'll be the modern image of the classic 1950's 3D movie photo.

On with the touchdowns and fumbles, winners, losers and a little social commentary.

BEST OF SHOW – Coke Zero’s update of the Mean Joe Greene spot. Let me guess. Crispin?
WORST OF SHOW - Pepsi MacGruber. Bad idea with a campy execution. You're talking to yourselves Arnell.

CHAMPS
3D technology - Sobe's Lizard Lake is the surprise winner with this spot with no idea.
Escapist movies - In this economy, we all could use a movie to forget our woes, and there are plenty to choose from.
Superdeals - Teleflora and Denny's spots do a great job mixing humor with great offers.
Nice guys - Kellogg's playground effort and Pedigree's Pet Adoption spots are hits.
Steelers’ James Harrison’s 100-yard interception TD.


LOSERS
Pepsi
Bud
Cardinals, by two feet inbounds.

TOUCHDOWNS
Bridgestone - Mrs. Potato Head loses her mouth when Mr. PH stops short of the mutton.
Careerbuilder.com - Repetition works. Great edit.
Coke Zero – Update of the Mean Joe Greene spot. Well-borrowed interest. You’ll love it or hate it. I loved it.
E-trade – Golf spot, post game. The other one missed.
Miller High Life – 1 second ad. Love it.
Pedigree – Funny spot for a good cause. Deep online presence.
Sobe – For the 3D execution. The only thing Pepsi did right all night.
Toyota – Tundra spot. A flaming, climbing demo so good I’d swear it was a real truck, a Ford truck.

FIRST DOWNS
Bridgestone - Space travelers.
Bud - Clydesdale fetches tree.
Bud - Skiers compare drinkability. Good demo.
Bud Light - Conan (for Conan, not Bud Light).
Cars.com - Overachiever regains confidence shopping for cars.
Castrol - Grease monkeys crown their king. Funny and simple.
Coca-Cola - Avatar. Smart, relevant, simple. Coke connects the world disconnected by technology.
Coca-Cola - Insect heist. The Honda Cog spot of soft drinks. Perfect tonality
Denny’s – for it’s Sup3rdeal.
Doritos – Crunch tears woman’s clothes off.
GE – Wind captured.
GE – Smart grid technology.
H&R Block – Death and Taxes, now owned by the green block.
Hyundai – Assurance program ad. In this economy, a winning business idea.
Hyundai – at BMW’s and Lexus’ expense for 2009 Car of the Year.
Kellogg’s – Tony the Tiger rehabs playgrounds.
Monster.com - It would've been my favorite if the moose dumped on him.
NBC – Lineup “Laugh your Ass Off” reminded me of money coming out of the wazoo. Conan is taking off in 2009.
NBC – Medium, Heroes for the football execution, Chuck for 3D.
Teleflora – nice spot, and a good offer. Cha-ching.
Universal Studios – Will Farrell. Fast & Furious. Land of the Lost. Super escapes.
Universal Studios Theme Parks – Free ticket. Super offer.
Vizio – Nice demo spot, at least for Vizio owners like myself.
Walt Disney Studios – Race to Witch Mountain, and Up. Fun escapism.

PUNTS
Bud Light – Bean counter tossed out of window. Time for a new research method folks. Your schtick is getting old.
Bud Light Lime – boring, although a good editor did his job.
Cash4Gold.com - Ed McMahon and MC Hammer sell their gold in a tough economy.
Chee.tos – maybe too dark, and weird.
Hulu.com – barely on the field, for intrigue. Although apparently all the spots are there.
Pepsi Max – “I’m good,” won’t become this year’s “Wazzup.” Funny, but I thought it was for Bud Light.
Sony “Angels vs. Demons” movie – the first movie wasn’t good enough for a sequel.
Taco Bell – Over eager, like the 16-year old boys who eat there.

FUMBLES
Audi - Confusing, although beautifully produced
Bud - Clydesdale immigrates from Europe. Your strategy is showing InBev. Navel-gazing from Belgium.
Doritos – User-produced crotch-shot spot. Who cares.
Dreamworks – Monsters vs. Aliens. Forgettable.
E-Trade – Huge disappointment. Fonze jumped the shark.
Gatorade – G that’s boring.
GoDaddy.com – hopefully the winner is online.
NBC – The Office is no longer funny. Neither is Leno.
NFL – Story of snow cone seller. Nobody cares.
Pepsi – Dylan and Wil.I.Am’s Forever Young. Anthems either go big or they flop. This was a flop.
Pepsi - MacGruber. I hated everything about it.
Toyota Venza – forgettable.
United Way – Call me.

POST-GAME COMMENTARY
It was great to honor the USAir crew who crashed in the Hudson.
The boss’ “Glory Days” felt like a funeral hymn for the U.S. economy.
Budweiser is no longer the Great American Lager.
Coke beats Pepsi like a high school drum in the Superbowl challenge.
Doritos’ user-produced spots are so two years ago. Do your own work folks. No way do you win the million bucks in the USA Today Poll.

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